she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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