were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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