Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Four minutes until I can fart!
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
