We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
