Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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