atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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