I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
