I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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