And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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