question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
