dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Randomize
