Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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