I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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