i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
