I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
