I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
