Having a random hookup so left but love u
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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