i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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