This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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