your thong is hanging out like whoa
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
