if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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