i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
