How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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