You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
