Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
