the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
this will be a night to untag.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
