If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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