I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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