Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
