Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
