shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
