I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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