Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
