So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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