I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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