you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
