Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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