life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
