Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
