Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
