I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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