I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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