Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
i out mim tonsoeep
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