Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
