I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My vagina just recognized that song.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
