ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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