I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
