we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
