you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
