My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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