You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
