It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
