Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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