i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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