don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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