I think scott just propositioned me for sex
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
