It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
