took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
