y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
