there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
