I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
