new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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