I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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