You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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