So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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