I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
