also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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